Finding THE Perfect Man

I’ve received many queries asking me how I came to choose “TK” as a man I wanted to meet in person.  I am very clear on the kind of man I like and enjoy spending time with.  So, I thought it might be helpful to focus on the criteria I used when I was in “Selection Mode” on the online dating site.  If you’re considering checking out an online dating site, my criteria might jog you into thinking about the subject and might also prove helpful… or not. 😊 

Many, many people are now using these sites to find friendship, companionship, a relationship, or a life partner.  And, I believe that some people are not as successful as they could be because they may be too flexible, or not very clear about what they are looking for in a partner.

I know, “being flexible” is a most useful trait.  However, in my opinion, when seeking a partner, I firmly believe one must have a list of “qualities” the person must possess, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less than the qualities on your list.  If the person doesn’t have all or most of the qualities, then you are not going to be happy with your choice.  Therefore, I think a list of the qualities you like in a man is important!

There are always surprises in a relationship, because it’s impossible to learn all about another human being in one email, phone call, or meeting... or lifetime for that matter!  Therefore, I highly recommend you make a list of the qualities you want in a partner.  And, most importantly, you must stick to your list!  When you first see his photo, and read about him on the site, delete anyone that doesn’t fit your criteria.  For example, if the guy is blonde and you really don’t like blond men, give him a pass. 

To help you make your list, below is what my list contained.  In the beginning I allowed for more flexibility than I should have, and that’s how I ended up talking to men in Ontario.  Enough said about that!

Check List of Necessary Qualities and Traits the Man Must Have:

• I like tall men and preferably 6 feet or over.
• Have dark hair, or white/grey hair.       
• Age range – 70 to 74.
• Weight is in proportion to height.
• Be physically fit.
• Be intelligent.
• Have a friendly countenance, i.e., smiles and/or laughs easily.
• Hopefully he’s had a profession, career or job that he enjoyed.
• Personality traits should include: confident, kind, generous, sense of humour, and plays well with others. 😊
• He should be sexy… at least in my opinion. 
• He should reside in my geographic area.  My maximum travel time is now one hour!
• Lastly, and very importantly, he must like dogs.

I highly recommend you stick to your list.  You may adjust it as you go along, but the basics should remain.  Word of warning… You may get grief from people you know, about being too picky, but in the long run, it’s always useful, helpful, and prudent to know what you like, and what you want… in my opinion.

Many years ago (long before computers and online dating sites) I used the services of a matchmaker.  That’s what they were called 40 – 50 years ago!  I filled out a form and answered a ton of questions re the kind of man I wanted to meet. 

I was recently divorced and thought it would be helpful to use the services of a matchmaker to help me find the “perfect” man, rather than go to a nightclub and have a drink or two and dance the night away with lots of different men.  I thought that sounded exhausting!

During the interview with the owner of the agency I answered a LOT of questions and about half way through the process I realized I was irritating the woman.  She finally told me what was bothering her.  She said (and I remember this quite vividly all these years later) “You are not being very flexible.  You’ll never meet the ‘perfect’ man, unless you compromise.”

I asked, as sweetly as possible… sometimes it’s difficult for me to be “sweet,” (especially if the person is annoying me as she was), “How and what should I compromise?”

She replied, “You say the man must be 6 feet tall.”  I replied, “Yes, that’s what I want.”

Then she said, “If you stick to that then there’s a very high probability you could be dismissing the ‘perfect’ man for you.”

To which I replied, “If he’s 5’7” he’s not the perfect man for me!”   Needless to say, I stopped using her services! 

I then decided that dancing and having a good time in nightclubs, would not be exhausting, and that it would be fun.  In very short order, I met Alex on the dance floor.  For starters he was 6 feet tall and quite the handsome and sexy guy.  I think I decided that night that he was THE perfect man for me.  And, as they say, the rest is history. 😊

Inquiring Minds may want to know why I chose TK (from the dating site).  The answer is quite simple.  He has ALL the qualities/criteria on my list… including, and especially, “He must be sexy.” 

There are days where I ask myself, “Just how old am I?”  I certainly am not behaving like a 70 year old woman., according to some people.***

On the other hand (having said that), I AM behaving like an Outrageous Old Broad and I’m more than fine with that!

Next time:  I think I'd like to start exploring how (and maybe "why") a woman can become a little more outrageous.  The possibilities are endless and just a titch exciting!

***  As far as I’m concerned, I think those people are just envious. 😊